Birds in an empty room? ( A Prose)

If only for a while, I've somewhat learned what it means to have that void. To have someone whose heart pines away for you only to find yourself fagging to evince love at a breathless 60 minute pace. Then, you're left in breathless wonder knowing that they are blindly combing for an exorcised band, disposable comb, and half washed clothes that have been routinely threaded with someone else's. They've equated you with this 'someone else as if you were Siamese twins. You now open and shut a door to an empty room no longer wondering why the sky is BLUE or why the two birds you once heard belting, are no longer there. You ask yourself, was there really two? That's only before you hold the picture in the frame of someOne who sits next to another framed picture of an afflictive heart, mechanical breathes, and the cruelest state on the map, Mental Uncertainty. Then and only then you have hope that your love is still the oxygen that keeps his heart beating for you. Void Less.

(To my beautiful gift. Breathing love)

Stillborn Superhero's

He told lies through dipping eyes
And a face with a lour
Like a turbulent wind blustering through
Lightless skies.
Yet, there is a voice in my head
That holds a ladle and scoops the
Remainder of my liquefied addled heart
And JELLS it that, I am nothing
Without him.
It hurts so much but he still bleeds my blood.
So why doesn't he just give me a little love?

I will never let go of the day he and I met
His eyes never peered at me
But I held him so tightly I could
Hear him concentrating on
How love had immediately
Murdered cold comfort.

He must stop disbanding vows, scourging innocence
And just give me a little love.

His fairytale, in no wise will come to be.
Yet, if I could I would insulate him
From the pain of knowing that
His superhero, doesn't exist...Only on a numbered page.

I'll be everything he wants and needs
Only if he'll allow me, stop taking, and just give a little love.
(Another day in the mind of a mother with an ADHD child. Every day is a constant battle)

Sluiced hearts

I'm crying his tears
I'm crying my tears
Too many, soon to drown in a natural disaster

Strumming my pain with far and in between silent steps
Heartache has trained my mind to swallow the cloudburst
Of crestfalleness

Engulfed in the same waters
We both are laggardly watching
The waters deleteriously decouple

Outreached hands are sundered
By storm surges muscling on the oceans surface

(A day in the life of a mother with an ADHD child trying to hold on to soundness and hope)

The slow jogger w/wet shoes is throwing in the towel

Today my husband and I were back on schedule. Full workout mode. Speaking of which for the past couple of weeks, I have gotten acclimated to doing cardio by myself, which means I love a good 25 2 1/2 powerwalk on the streets verses the wooded trails. My husband says that the concrete is harsh on his knees. Therefore, he prefers a quick, heart racing jog in the trails where the grass is often dewy enough to dirty up my shoes and wet my socks. Not only that, the ground is unleveled and I often find myself swaying from side to side to keep from twisting my ankle.

My husband is very competitive so if I am even near him, which I'm usually not because he jogs too fast, he speeds up and continues with the irritation, "Come on. Get your heart racing." it's more like get it stopping if I don't slow down at my own pace. Initially, the morning jogs were awesome. I enjoyed the company, conversations, and security. However, I think it's time to start back hitting the pavement by myself. I am a hypochondriac and I think my heart is still thinking about having an attack.

Until next time go at it at your own speed.

Freckled, dots, and connections

One day we saw that we were baptizing ourselves in the ignorance and naivete of other’s insecurities and decided to become women-Ja' Walker

Today being a boring day, I decided to sit and check all the cool sites I like to read and look at but haven't had a chance to do so lately because of my busy schedule. Whilst doing so, I found that there are people who actually like my freckled face. For a while, I used to think they were oddly inhuman. However, I'm no longer embarrassed of them. I must say the one on my chin is what eccentrically defines my face.

Here is the link:
http://blackchickswithfreckles.com/post/10518975736/from-our-fans-janay-walker-i-have-freckles-why

Well, until next time my name is Inertia.

Popsicles

What's extremely warm, cuddly, but throws up all over you? A mommy's, sweet little cuddle bug. I was a nurse working the graveyard shift last night. Or should I say this morning? Darn those BUGS! Hopefully, she'll be able to see the Popsicle on the picture as an early morning treat while at the same time staying hydrated.

The Comfy couch and meTIME

Obviously, my name is not sequential order because I thought I'd share what I did earlier this week during my ME TIME. I set in my comfy chair, blew some of the dust off some vinyl records, and had me some delicious melodic chow. It was midnight deliciousness. If brunch is eating between the hours of breakfast and lunch then what is it called between the hours of midnight and breakfast? Fastbreak? I suppose so because it doesn't last for long. At any rate, here is a picture from an appreciative person who caught me enjoying loveliness. And there is another one of a sleep walker exploiting my medicinal slumber.

Until then, I'll continue having fun late night conversations with Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, miles, and those who put the B in BOP jazz.

Eat, Pray, Love

A day without love is a day never lived- Ja' Walker

Yesterday, my husband and I took the morning from our usual jog. Come to think of it, we've been somehow, doing our own physical fitness thing in the morning for the past few days. I suppose as long as we try and maintain an active lifestyle and I can feel the touch of his soft SANDS, I'm happy. Have you ever walked the beach barefooted? A penny for your thought and my thoughts are all over the place.

After we picked up our little Preschool cuddle bug, we decided to take her to eat at Hasta La Pasta, a very lavish Italian restaurant. She, a 4 year old that climbs walls, leaves a toy trail so that she can find her way back to her room, and refuses to take naps received a free invitation to this particular restaurant for being such a great mini me (excluding trails, no napping, and wall climbing). Smile.

The restaurant was very nice. The prices are somewhat reasonable. However, I was almost disappointed.

"Do you have a vegetarian menu?" I asked.

"No, we don't," the waitress answered.

I had a blank stare on my face and was ready to go, although all of the food looked great BUT with meat. Then, there it was...

"However..."

She showed me the best Ravioli' option, flushed with Portobello mushrooms, a creamy marinara sauce, and spinach. The delicious meal was more than enough to sate my hunger for the rest of the day. My two pals felt the same way, as they only had a snack for the rest of the evening. I will definitely revisit. It's nothing better than hanging out with those you love and indulging in some good food while you're at it.

Until next time, eat, pray, and love...

Reebok'ed

Monday morning walk was....Peculiar. First, of course it started out with getting the kids off to school. Then, we headed for our morning jog in the wooded trails with our dog, Violet. My pace, breathing, spirit...everything was excellent. We finally hit the rocky wooded trails and in less than 20 seconds it was over. Why, you ask? Well, if you remember I have a pair of Reebok's that I thought loved talking to me for many years. However, today I found out the hard way that they, for whatever reason decided to yell all kind of profanities at me and tried to take me DOWN. All this time I thought maybe they would be there to talk to me on those lonely walks, when my husband didn't come along.

The rubber at the bottom of the right shoe literally detached halfway in the middle of the shoe, almost causing me to fall a few times while jogging. I was stooped, wondering how am I going to get home with these evil Reebok's? Well, it's always good to have a husband with a brain. He pulled some of the shoe strings from the top and tied it into the grooves at the bottom of the shoe. Pretty clever. However, that was it for the wooded trails. That temporary fix would not get me through moist unaligned grass. So,we took to the streets. I suppose the shoe felt bad because my husband and I were able to do about 2 miles on the streets.

I'm not the one to hold grudges and put people out, however, I am on my way to Academy. The Reebok's, though they allowed for the 2 miles, has given me trouble for too long. Or is it the other way around? At any rate, mama needs a new pair of shoes in order to continue with my beautiful morning jogs and cycling.

Until then, I'll be enjoying quiet time from those who shouldn't be talking to me anyway. Happy Thursday.