Today, I was set to talk about a certain topic that has been eating at me for months. However, after i attempted to try on a pair of pants and my stomach looked as though it was laughing at me and the nonmotile zipper, I decided to veer off into another direction. I'm sure that a lot of women would pay their life savings, turn over their big-ticket investment, and maybe trade in a husband, for a real, safe, and permanent cure for weight gain. I'm not referring to the quick fix cures where they make your stomach the size of a fingertip and all you're able to eat is maybe, a snow pea.
Yes, the experts and those who can swallow a pregnant elephant and still not gain a pound, may say that there are other cures (i.e. slapping the street pavement with the expensive Reebok's that you bought for melting that jiggle, exchanging the one cup for a teaspoon of FAT, and etc.). No matter how we try and deny it, we as humans love eating good food. And when I say good food, I mean the kind that taste good and you won't gain 10lbs just by accidentally looking at it.
So, I'll get to my point. Whilst, engaging in some much needed cleaning today, I made a discovery. Over half the clothes in my closet belongs to the girl that had begun leasing my skin about 4 momths ago. At one point, she was an inspiration to me. She ate healthy, meat free, worked out on a daily basis, and was happy. Now, I have 6, 8 and 10's, that are sandwiching my only wearable garment. A pair of black jogging pants. It is now time to find the finagler and tell her that she owes me back rent. And that this skin is no longer for rent. I am exclusively occupying this skin again. And when I get back to my ideal size, I'm going on a shopping spree. Where? In my closet and I'm taking everything. #WINNING! However, I might be a lady and leave her the scruffy, dilapidated BLACK JOGGING PANT.
Side note: I may need a little backup because she is a heartless character. Until then...
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